Bitter Sweet

It's something when your so blessed you can't get off your knees, but to also be so heart broken you can't get off you knees either. I've been blessed in so many ways, it's like God has decided to pour out a life time of love on me in just one simple moment, WOW!!!! Sometimes there is that one thing, that you want more then anything and the only way he can bless you is to be there to hold your hand and love on you as your going through it because for some reason that you don't know you have to go through it. My friend and I have talked about the struggles of live and she is awesome, she's like bring it on God I want to be refined in your fire. I'm like I've been there I just want to sit out this time and maybe the next too. Maybe that makes me a wimp and maybe that shows a lack of faith I don't know for sure the only thing I know for sure is God doesn't let me sit out because he knows what is best for me, he knows I need refined in the fire, to be stronger and more in love with him. Our Pastor this last week did a great sermon that you could listen to at the following website it you wonted to: http://www.wschurch.org/ In short about waisted time. He talked about how many Saturdays he had until his 16 year old left home and how many had passed by already. It made me think about my own life with my children and my own passions and desires. God has given all of us gifts, and talents to use for his kingdom, and I've spent a lot of Saturdays putting off the work that God has put in my heart. I've done a lot of what God has asked me and I've spent a lot of time with my wonderful family which I would never change. As I'm going through this struggle with my eyes and my vision getting worse and worse, I've begun to think about all the times God has given me images in my heart and mind and said paint this for me, make this for me and I tucked it away in my mind or my sketch book and said some day when life is not so crazy I'll do it. I believe God is going to take care of this problem and not let me go blind, but in the mean time I'm going to do my very best to fulfill my God given purpose as I see it and follow through on the promises I've made.